It’s amazing. I actually hate The Temple Cafe. Hate it strongly and deeply. And I hate everything it stands for and tries to do. I actually don’t care about the Earth or being gentle to it. I don’t care about creating community and working together in a team. I also sincerely don’t care about listening to my intuition. I don’t care how my actions or reactions affect the rest of the world. Fuck the rest of the world. From now on I’m only doing what feels great and what is easy. No more persistence or hard work. Nope it’s not for me. I don’t enjoy it, I don’t gain from it. I hate The Temple Café for taking over my life, when I actually could have been doing really amazing things with my money. I could have been to India, I could have been to South America, I could have bought a dozen new matching sets of underwear, I could have bought 5 pairs of new shoes, I could have dined out at amazing restaurants every night this year. I could have had massages and facials, and hair dos and dresses. Why did I care so much about ‘doing something’, ‘contributing to the world’? From now it’s all about me and doing what’s fun. I quit the Temple Café.
finished? December 1, 2008
It’s hard to know when something’s challenging just because it is and because we learn to grow from it, or when it’s hard because the world it telling us we need to do something else. For the past 2 weeks I’ve been facing that decision with The Temple. This has been a dream that I’ve been working really hard on for the past 6 months; it’s taken so much of my time, my savings and my energy.
My knee was hurting today, does that mean its time for a change of direction?
It’s 1:45am. I was sitting here catching up on emails and writing my blog a few minutes ago when it began to rain. It’s usually a beautiful sound in an area with an acute water shortage, but tonight I set up a marquee and the kitchen that we were to be using for our next festival in a few days time because the council health and safety lady has to come and check it tomorrow. I’d also left the carpet outside to air out. No rain was predicted. I ran outside, barefoot and with barely anything on to cover the carpet. As I struggled with tarps in the half dark, I heard a noise behind me. I turned around just in time to see a small gust of wind pick the marquee up and place it down in a crumpled heap just beside the kitchen, leaving the stoves, and tables to be rained on, and us 1 marquee down. I don’t know if I have the time or money to get another one before the festival. And the organiser says we’re not allowed to have our bus because its too big. I’ve already ordered a couple of hundred dollars worth of food. And I can’t keep putting money in to plugging up holes. I could have travelled for months on what I’ve put into The Temple already. The rain lasted all of 5 minutes and the air is still.
I was already feeling frustrated and let down by a member of the crew tonight. And incredibly over-whelmed and over-tired, with a hundred things left to do before I go to sleep tonight.
I feel like I’ve followed by guidance and intuition deeply in my work with The Temple. I feel like I’ve given up so much to work on this. And I feel like the Universe is slapping me in the face. They tell me that persistence is key. But when is something challenging because we need to learn and grow from it and when is it hard because we need to do something else?
departure eve November 18, 2008
So we leave tomorrow. i think i’m too tired to know how I’m feeling about it. Thigs were flowing again today, it seems to go that way, waves and cycles. Challenges that came up earlier in the week seem to have been averted. We got the marquee, we might be able to substitute something else for the Agave syrup that’s stuck at the port. The forgotten order of cacao arrived express post this evening. I managed to buy just about everything we need. The bus is half packed. There are still a few things that play on my mind. Do we have enough food? Too much food? How are we going to set the kitchen up? Where in the bus will I stack the big pots? What about the printing I still have to get done? Tired mind struggling. Probably best I get some sleep.
puddles November 17, 2008
maybe there is something better than feeling ok. maybe not being ok and being ok with that, somehow has more meaning.
I’m a puddle again. but I am a loved and supported puddle.
another step November 16, 2008
another big day. the exciting news is that I have a bedroom again, as opposed to a temple cafe store room with a bed hiding in it. karen and i cuaght up this morning for a hundred trips up and down the stairs and moved everything temple cafe into the bus. My workout for the week. And tonight we got our staff together for the very first time. I am excited about working with such beautful, loving souls.
Today, I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and out of my depth in all of this. Another mini-breakdown today, and a constant feeling of fragility and anxiety. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. I was thinking today that if someone had told me how challenging this was going to be, that I wouldn’t have done it, but that’s not true, I would have done it just to prove that I could, and because I like a challenge. I will grow through this, and I will be stronger and clearer for having faced everything that’s being brought up for me right now. Remind me of that when I become a puddle again tomorrow.
getting there… November 15, 2008
Things are whirring along, and I’m having a ‘feeling really happy about where we’re at day today’. Spending the morning out at St Andrew’s Market and not having done any work at all has probably contributed to that, but I’ll take it.
I did feel something really amazing yesterday. I was having another one of my ‘freak-out moments’; those moments when something doesn’t happen as I’d planned and I think the whole world is ending. I’m becoming quite used to them. But I’m also finally getting the idea that they pass. That before too long an alternative shows itself, things start flowing again. Yesterday, for the first time, I was really able to feel ok in my feeling like my whole world was ending. A completely amazing experience.
I’ve also begun to ask myself “Why wouldn’t this be amazing?” “Why couldn’t I be a part of something incredible?” It’s an interesting experiment for me to sit with feeling that; a strength and confidence in myself that I’m unfamiliar with. Last week when I was at home working on the bus I really faced my inner belief that I’m a failure and I’ll never be good enough. I realised that a part of me wanted The Temple to fail because it would confirm a deep belief I had/have that I’m a failure; and my ego could prove itself right. As ironic and self defeating as that is, I think maybe the ego likes to be right more than anything else. Having faced that though, and really looked at it, it seems to have lost is power some. And I really can see the amazingness that is my life.
eek! & weehee! at the same time November 15, 2008
I’m a nervous wreck! And I’m happy to admit it at this point. I’m over trying to talk myself out of how I’m feeling and putting on a happy face. I’m downing Rescue Remedy like it’s going out of fashion. This is damn hard work. More work, more money and more challenging than I ever imagined. There are moments each day when I seriously question why I’m doing this, and if it is actually still what I want to be doing with myself. The answer is still that it is what feels right at this moment in time; regardless of the outcome of The Temple, this is exactly where I’m meant to be right now.
We’re a week away from our first away festival. The strongest feelings are nervous, anxious, fearful. My journey with The Temple has already been so full and rich and challenging; but in the last couple of weeks, it’s challenged me more deeply than anything else I’ve ever done. It’s brought me to face some of my most fundamental belief patterns and taken me to face some of the darkest parts of my heart. And its absolute paradox! Because at the same time as I’m being so completely challenged and feeling in to such strong feelings of despair, I’m also feeling so loved and so supported and so blessed. And I’m learning so much. It seems that for every moment that leaves me wanting to run away to a cave in India, there are 3 that warm my heart, lift my spirits and make it all feel worthwhile.
I have been completely amazed and humbled and awed at the support I’ve already received in working on this. It’s probably been one of the greatest lessons and gifts of working on all of this. Being able to open to support, knowing that I deserve to receive. The question was posed to me the other day of what I would do if one of my friends was working a huge crazy amazing dream. Obviously I’d want to help them. And I could really see that my friends are supporting me so willingly, because they love me, and the love the idea of what I’m doing. From also more abstract sources, The Universe, I call it, but we all have our names for it, I feel supported too. Just by the way things show up when they need to. The way I’m offered help, sometimes even before I know I need it. Overall, despite small interruptions, things are flowing. I’m just trying to remember that.
I’m also starting to maybe see that for all the challenges this whole project has brought me, I will probably appreciate it more in the end. I’m starting to see that it’s the things we really have to work on that mean the most to us. Like when a friendship’s challenged and you move through it, and it becomes more solid than ever. Or when you cultivate something within yourself and you really really appreciate that strength in you. Although I’m struggling at times to see it now, I have a feeling that one day I’ll appreciate these challenges I’m facing and I’ll love The Temple so much more for all of it.
YuM! October 31, 2008
It’s all go from here…
in a whizzzz of business works….
in a tizzzz from the learning…
in a dance when it’s too much…
to a laugh when we wooopsies…
in a “sheer we are going to do this and it’s going to be grt8″
to downing a glass of spiralina…
in the hmmmmm’s yummy as meet and eat…
and always in love and thanks for that has been and is to come.
The Temple Cafe is moving forward strongly, 12Volt lights and more October 31, 2008
Hey Everyone!,
wow!.
Things are moving moving MOVING,
according to the webstats, we had another 100 people check out the website over the last month, and our new email addresses are working now.
admin@lovethetemple.com.au – General admin
isiah@lovethetemple.com.au – For contacting Isiah directly, about all business, admin + food
karen@lovethetemple.com.au – For contacting Karen directly, about festivals, business + promotions
sylph@lovethetemple.com.au – For contacting Sylph directly, about web + renewable energy
————
I have finished building the LED lighting system for the cafe for the festivals,
they are a “parallel system” of 12V amber + warm white LEDs, with life hours of over 50,000 each!, and only a tiny draw of 1-3watts per light, of which we have 10.
The LED sockets are MR16 sockets (the same as those lovely 12V halogen downlights that are all the rage in kitchens and lounge rooms these days) soldered and hardwired into place as one lovely and long lead, stretching from the bus (a built in 12V battery system, with monitors and plugs and switches that are accessed from the outside of the bus for festival setup.
What this all means, is that The Temple Cafe will be lit, lovingly with warm whites and ambers,
@ 5×3watts (because there are 5 warm white, 3 watt LEDs on the lead)
+ 5×1watt (because there are 5 amber, 1 watt LEDs on the lead also)
—————
First of all, WATTS are just a unit of measurement, that tell us the total POWER of something,
POWER is just what “is” when you combine the VOLTAGE and the CURRENT (or AMPS )
whatever way you put it together, you get the same POWER, this is the trick.
E.g.
if you have 12 VOLTS, and you have a light that needs 1 AMP, then to find out how much POWER it takes to run, just multiply them,
12 VOLTS x 1 AMP
12 x 1
= 12 WATTS of POWER
————–
so:, do the maths and, 5×3watts = 15watts, +
5×1 watt = 5 watts,
15watts+5watts = ~20watts (on average)
so it takes 20watts of power from the batteries, to run these LED lights, per hour, every hour.
Lets say that we want to have the lights on for 7 hours per day (hehe, per night)
we just times, 20watts x 7 =140watts total draw (so this means that the LEDs will need 140watts of power, in TOTAL to be run per night, providing we use them for around 6hours each night)
———————-
so, =) what does all this mean?
basically, if the LEDs need 140watts of power to run each night, then, lets say that we are at a festival for 5 days, including setup + packup, realistically, we need light for 4 night,
so: 140watts x 4 = 560watts of power to run the lights each night, for the whole festival. =)
thats pretty cool!
NOW -
thats the lights side of things, as in roughly HOW MUCH POWER DO WE NEED TO HAVE LIGHT EVERY NIGHT OF THE FESTIVAL ?
and we’ve worked out, its ~560 watts (roughly, thats what ~ means),
and just to give you an idea of how much power that is,
It takes over 600watts just to run a blender (for milkshakes or smoothies), if you were to run the blender for an hour.
It takes over 100watts per hour just to run 3 normal house light bulbs
It takes over 2400 watts PER HOUR!! just to run a hairdryer
so in comparison, the difference is HUGE, and when we start talking about sustainble energy use, the difference is mindblowingly important,
the next thing to work out, is HOW are we going to GET those 560 watts of power??
The difference between using low watt, low power lights means that we only need to GENERATE 600 watts of power over 5 days! (over the whole festival)
so, if we had even a small solar panel, that had an output of 40 watts per hour,
then with that going all day, especially in summer, we may get 10 hours of great sunshine on the panel.
so, 40 watts x 10 hours
40 x 10
=400watts
which means that in just 1 day, we could generate enough Watts (POWER) to run our lights for nearly the WHOLE festival for 4 nights!.
isn’t that awesome!!
——————–
the last thing about it, just for an idea, and to help get rid of generators @ fesitvals JUST to run lights and other things which CAN be converted to sustainable forms, like bicycle blenders, LED lights, etc..
If we bring along two, 12Volt Car batteries, and we run our LED lights off of these,
(lets just assume that for now, we have NO solar panels or any other way of charging the batteries other than @ home before we leave)
if we totally charge up the 12V batteries @ home from the mains power before we go,
and lets say that they are average, normal car batteries, which can hold 12 VOLTS and 40 AMPS each,
12 Volts x 40 Amps
12 x 40
=480 WATTS per battery
so 480 x 2 (because we have 2 batteries connected in parallel together, so + to + and – to – )
=960 watts of power in total inside the 2 batteries when we start the festival,
that is MORE than enough to run the LED lights, for 6 hours each night, for 4 or 5 days at the festival, without having to charge the batteries AT ALL, then, when we return home again, just pop the batteries back on mains power to charge fully, ready for the next festival.
Even better if you buy 100% greenpower, wind and solar power for your home electricity, then, even charging the batteries from the wall @ home is using solar panels and wind generators to make the electricity, and it is a green sustainable way of using power @ festivals…
=)
Sylph Hawkins
sylph@lovethetemple.com.au
As we go, and build more and more things, like power systems for big duty blenders, etc..etc.., I will add more information, hope this helps anyone who is a bit stuck on the energy “thing” of lights and crazy festivals and energy usage. =)
hmm… December 2, 2008
I find it curious that I’m trying to run a wholefoods café because I think food is fundamentally important to our wellbeing and today my diet has consisted of: 4 swigs of iron supplement, 2 beroccas, 1 glass of juice, 1 coffee, 1 ginseng tablet, half a bundy and coke, half a sandwich and half a 250g block of milky chocolate. Hmm…
Spring Equinox Feastival 2008 – photos =) October 31, 2008
The Spring Equinox Feastival was AWESOME!!
here are some photos of The Temple Cafe @ the Spring Equinox Feastival 2008.
(We cant seem to upload them at the moment, but heres a Flickr link for the time being -
http://www.flickr.com/photos/equinoxfeastival/
Thanks everyone and EVERYONE!!
=)
